At the very end of the dark tunnel, there is light – a confession of a hobbyist turn professional photographer

Some people think poverty is a bitter situation, some see it as training in patience; some people think stability and comfort is fortune, some see the trap within. As my mentor Scott Robert said “when changes is a constant, embrace it.”

WARNING, VERY LONG BORING BLOG POST from Zabrina of JeZa!! Please excuse my terrible writing.

Today is the last day of my 9-6 day job, and I want to share some of my very random maybe deep thoughts with all of you. Today I kissed my system programming job good bye and starting our photography career full time starting Jan 1st. 2011.  As I packed up all my belonging from my desk and said good bye to all my colleagues whom I have been working alongside for eight years. I have many fond memories and made life long friends from this office. This was my very first job out of college and I have been working here for eight long years. I still remembered the day I was hired. My boss said to me why he wanted to interview me was not because all the accounting classes I’ve took, nor the degree I have from UC Davis, it was that he found my website on my resume portrayed great sense of humor which made me stand out from other applicants.  So, because my good senses of humor, helps me landed on this job of  “entry level analyst.”  So I started out entry level barely knowing how to make a label with MS Word, nor add/subtract in MS Excel…. but I worked hard and taught myself in some programming languages which allows me to swim my way to become a supervisor of a small team and designed internal office apps.  There are  satisfactions and some fulfillment feelings toward my job, but often times day in and day out, I feel like I was doing repetitive tasks. There are many moment wondering if is this what I will be doing for the rest of my life?

 

During my days working 9-5, my only cure for routine boring office tasks was by looking at blogs online and I’ve stubbled across master photographer Scott Robert’s blog. I was thinking, WOW, who is this SCOTT ROBERT? He must be some BIG SHOT photographer since his students’ photos are phenomenal.  Without a doubt, after looking at Scott Robert‘s work on his blog and his website, every single photo on his website looked stunning and it is beyond words to describe how beautiful they were. There is something about Scott’s work making all his subject look extremely beautiful. I was looking at Scott’s  blog everyday during lunch hour, break hour, even after work. So I’ve became a stalker for Scott’s work.

One day, I read Scott’s blog on their journey of adopting Chloe and Phoebe from China. I watched his video of Scott’s wife Stacey receiving Phoebe for the very first time, and how much over-flowing love expressed toward their them as children of their own. To that point I knew this is the family whom I want to be looking up to. I was touched by Phoebe’s adoption story in so many levels that I couldn’t really explain why, tears were just running down on my face.  While watching that video, I thought if Chloe or Phoebe weren’t adopted by this family, what could happen to them? Could they be left abandon on street of some random village in China?!?!!  Thankfully, they are in good hands of loving parents of Scott and Stacey.  So reading Scott’s story which has nothing to do with photography really intrigued me into reading his blog even more faithfully, wondering what is the next inspiring story he has to share.

Scott later talked about above image he took with his Nikon Film Camera while playing Rock Paper Scissor with kids in an orphanage of China. This image was a profound moment in his photographic career because he realized his interaction with the human experience can create a powerful image. WOW, I was thinking….an amazing image is not merely back by his technical skills of the master, also back by his sensitivity to life  and to powerful experiences.  I was just sitting at my cube and thinking about what can I possibly do with my life? Can I live a life will have powerful stories I can tell my children like Scott Robert did?

On that powerful blog post, he concludes with the quote below and asked if anyone is interested going to China with him…….so, starting that point I was thinking I gotta do something with my bilingual skills and perhaps that was a special calling for me to help Scott so that we can do something great & amazing in China. So we’ve went to our VERY FIRST Scott Robert Workshop in Oct of 2009 in China, and our photography journey begins since.

“Extraordinary images are the result of extraordinary living. Live life and begin to see your photography in a brand new way. ” – Scott Robert Lim

Since attending the first Scott Robert Workshop, along with Jeremy, JeZa photography was born.  Life has been drastically changed since Oct of 2009; thanks to loving clients that allow me to evolve from both being weekend warriors to depart our day job slowly.  After working about one year professionally in the wedding industry, as we wrapped up 2010 with our last wedding job on December 18th, we were emotional and heart-felt about how much we’ve grown in the craft of photography. In just one year, we’ve found our voices and true self of being photographers, and seeing the direction of where we’ll be going in the next 5 years. It all started from reading Scott Robert’s story. And thanks to being part of the Scott Robert Community, that changed our lives.

Honestly, it’s VERY UNCOMFORTABLE to think about how many weddings and photo sessions I’ll have to shoot in order to make up for the salaries, health benefits, 401K from our comfortable day jobs. To add more stress, think those bills are still due at the end of the month regardless we have income or not.  I see a dark tunnel that requires me to endure a lot of training, trust & patience in order to walking thru this tunnel. And this journey of walking thru the tunnel is not easy, is stressful and unpredictable. But we know that through this journey will make us a stronger people and the end of the journey itself is a process of living an extraordinary life.

To end this post, I want to share with you this poem from a Louis Vuitton ad, a luxury brand silly me used to work really hard for $$ to buy their bags for…..(a status self-comforting act at the beginning of my 9-5 career).  Today I think this poem exceed any value of every LV trunk cases or bags. The poem is something so valuable yet priceless to me………..

“Life is a Journey” – Louis Vuitton

 

PS 1. WE LOVE SCOTT ROBERT FAMILY! Scott, Stacey, Chloe, Phoebe and the COMMUNITY!!!! You all our lights guiding us thru the tunnel!!

PS 2. I still remember the 1st time Scott called me on the phone to talk about China workshop 2009, I was like a HUGE fan screaming Justin Bieber’s name!! WHAT A STALKER!?!?! YES I AM!

PS3. 2011 Scott Robert Photography School will even be better and I know it! It’s JeZa’s honor to be part of the process and witness the growth of Scott Robert Photography School. The BEST in Photography education resource – Photography, Inspiration, Discovery!!!

PS 4. To my real father, I’ve disobeyed your words of by going full time in Photography. I know even with your disapproval of me going full time, but deep down inside you really love me. Time will prove everything. I really miss you, MayE and Mom. Hope to reunion soon!

PS 5. To Junshien & Stephen, I can’t believe from me being your biggest fan on xanga to working along side with you guys today. It’s feel so surreal!!  It all started with you guys accepting my FRIEND request on FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!  THANKS!!!

PS 6. To Tauran Woo, you are the BOMB! That’s all.

PS 7. Good Bye cubicle, hello beautiful!! My cube-mates and office colleagues, I’ll be back for LL! lol!

PS 8. If you are still here and read my entire boring post, please let me know by commenting below.